


At the borders of swearing

by harrietrose



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Funny, Happy, Humor, Mild Swearing, Modern Era, One Shot, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:55:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26739220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrietrose/pseuds/harrietrose
Summary: Feuilly introduces a swear jar as a way to provide funds for bails. Chaos ensuesHappy one shotContains very (I`d say extremely) mild (and censured) swearing.
Kudos: 13





	At the borders of swearing

It was, to everyone`s surprise, Feuilly`s idea. He was somewhere between marching and bouncing into the café, a small jar in hand, beaming as he placed it forcefully on the table, had enough to catch all of his friends` attention.

“I`ve had an idea. Though I don`t mind personally, we have small ears here,” he stated, glancing at Gavroche and Jehan, causing the latter to blush. “And anyhow, it will all help to bail you lot out of jail,” he added. 

“Hey, that only happened once!” Bahorel shouted. 

“No, it`s twice now, do you remember the protest when Enjolras hit that one guy,” Joly reminded him. 

Courfeyrac burst out laughing. “I was sure the guy would be obliterated on the spot, he lasted longer than anyone I ever saw.” 

Enjolras sent him a glare in return for the reminder. 

“Enjolras was in jail?” Grantaire was positively gleeful. “Why haven`t I heard?” 

Feuilly waved his hands. “Not important. What is important, is that we have should have a swear jar.” 

“A swear jar.” Courfeyrac looked skeptical. “You swear, Feuilly.” 

“I`m aware,” he blushed. “But I think it would be good to clean up the language a bit.” At this, he directed a glance towards Bahorel and Grantaire.

“I think it`s a good idea,” Combeferre ventured. “We could write a list of forbidden words.” 

“To take inspiration from?” Grantaire interrupted.

Combeferre rolled his eyes fondly, but Enjolras came to his support. “I think it`s a good idea, Feuilly.” 

“Then again, you think everything Feuilly does is a good idea, including trying to attack robbers at midnight,” Joly argued. He was still annoyed, particularly as he was  
the one to patch them up at the ER. 

“There were three of us, and Grantaire boxes,” Enjolras protested. 

“Yeah, and we all saw how that ended,” Courfeyrac laughed. 

“Let`s put it to a vote,” Jehan suggested quickly before the argument could be repeated. “Everyone for, raise their hands,” he said while raising his. 

Enjolras, Combeferre, Joly, and Feuilly raised their hands as well. “It`s decided. We have a swear jar,” Enjolras announced. 

The first to pay his dues was Bossuet. Due to his bad luck, he hadn`t been in the meeting the previous day, and no one had thought to tell him. 

It had been plain enough – he had been discussing the latest pamphlet with Joly, and he was quickly growing agitated on the behalf of the students. “It`s the damn royalists-”

“Swear jar!” Joly interrupted in the middle of what had been a very good speech. 

“Excuse me?” 

Grantaire looked up, sensing trouble. 

“We have implemented a swear jar,” Feuilly explained. 

“Why the f--- has no one told me?” 

“That`ll be two euros,” Grantaire smirked, handing him the jar. 

Bossuet was more upset about the speech going to waste than having to pay, though, in hindsight, he enjoyed the thought of a swear jar immensely. 

The next to pay up (to no one`s surprise) was Bahorel. 

“So if I was to say - - - - - -, would I have to pay per word, or for the sentence as a whole?”

Courfeyrac had covered Gavroche`s ears within two words, and Feuilly was on the other side of the café with shock plastered on his face, doing the same for Jehan. 

“That`s the worst sentence I`ve ever heard,” Combeferre stated.

“Per word. That`ll be 10 euros,” Feuilly agreed. 

Bahorel quickly did the maths. “It`s supposed to be six,” he replied confused. 

“You deserve another penalty for that language. And we need to buy some soap to clear out our ears,” Enjolras replied. 

“Did you know there`s a village called Fucking?” Courfeyrac mused one evening.

“Swear jar,” Combeferre replied instantly. 

(Courfeyrac could later be heard grumbling about lack of geography in med school.) 

Jehan - according to himself, lost it at knitting. “This dratted pattern – oops!” Jehan blushed, already opening his wallet. 

“Jehan, darling, I think even preschoolers consider that too mild for a swear word,” Courfeyrac stated. 

“I also said crap five minutes ago as well,” he explained. 

“Well in that case,” Bahorel snorted (but not unkindly). 

Combeferre was perhaps the most surprising, as he didn`t really have a habit of swearing. Of course, he lost in the most Combeferre way possible. 

“Ferre, I was wondering – how does a word become a swear word?” Courfeyrac asked innocently one day. 

“It depends,” Combeferre answered. “A lot of it is context-based – we all know some swear words that are most definitely swear words. The name of a certain village,  
for example,” he explained, looking drily at a beaming Courfeyrac. “However, there are some ambiguous words.”

“Do you have an example of an ambiguous word?” Joly perked up, sensing an opportunity. Combeferre was too far down the rabbit hole to notice. 

“Well there are lots – damn is generally considered one, I`d say crap is as well, though not as strong, no offense Jehan, also ass, and –” He halted as Courfeyrac and 

Grantaire erupted into laughter. Even Enjolras looked amused. 

“That`ll be 3 euros, Ferre,” Feuilly laughed, handing him the jar. 

Feuilly lasted only a little longer than Bahorel. He was painting by the window, whistling a song. Courfeyrac, quickly catching onto the song started humming along. 

They sat like that for a while, but after a short while, he mixed it up with another song.

“Damn it, Courf, stay on track,” he laughed. 

“What did you say?” Bossuet was quick to join. 

“I said – I said dagummit?” he tried. 

“Swear jar,” Grantaire and Courfeyrac shouted happily. 

“I was wondering,” Joly begun. “What are the limits of swearing?” 

“What do you mean,” Grantaire asked. 

“Well, for example, we all know dirt isn`t a swear word – but crap is (Jehan had most definitely been the one to put that one on the list). Where are the limits?” 

“Have you checked the list?” Courfeyrac asked. 

“There`s a list?” 

“The list of F-ing,” Grantaire replied casually. 

“According to the list, you both have to pay up,” Enjolras stated, not even looking up from his book. 

“I have come to a conclusion.” All the students around Enjolras perked up. “Seeing as I already have been arrested once, but not paid at all, I will be making a contribution to the swear jar.” 

The group cheered noisily, overjoyed to see their leader pay to such a raucous cause. 

“Wait!” Grantaire interrupted. “It`s not fair that we have to swear in order to pay, while you don`t have to!”

“Excuse me?” 

“`Taire is right.” Courfeyrac was positively gleeful. 

“You have to swear in order for the contribution to be valid,” Bahorel argued. 

“Or else the swearing jar fairy will return the contribution at night,” Joly nodded in utter seriousness. 

“It is common knowledge,” Jehan agreed, but sputtering with laughter. 

Enjolras deadpanned, to no avail. In exasperation he looked to Combeferre, seeking help from the one voice of reason he could depend on. 

“They`re right, Enjolras. The swearing jar fairy never misses.” Enjolras could hardly ever remember seeing Combeferre so serious. 

Jehan and Courfeyrac lost it. They were trying to silence their laughter, stuffing their fists in front of their mouths, desperately clutching onto each other. 

“She is a foe to be reckoned with,” Feuilly said in mock horror, causing even more ruptures from the two youngest. Even Combeferre was soon shaking with silent laughter. 

“You really are a bunch of kindergartners,” Enjolras sighed. “Well. If it makes you happy. Ass,” he said as he stuffed a euro down the jar. 

Everyone cheered once more. Jehan and Courfeyrac were now crying. Even Feuilly was clutching his stomach in laughter, supporting himself on Joly, who was near tears. Combeferre was leaning on the table, besides Bossuet and Bahorel, who were just about to sag down to the floor. 

“Oh fearless leader, I didn`t know you had it in you,” Grantaire teased. 

“It`s only because you`re all f-ing children.” The group positively died laughing, and Enjolras (for the first and last time, according to Grantaire) blushed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> I am in the middle of another fic in the same universe, but I`ve had this thought in my brain, so I really wanted to jolt it down before I continued that one. so hope you enjoyed!


End file.
